May 21st, 2015
Bam!
I know an amazing woman who often refers to “BAM!” moments – simple, straight up, in-your-face kind of awakenings. They come in the form of Facebook posts and are short, brilliant insights that end with a great big BAM!
I’ve always been more of an “a ha!’ kind of girl….until last Wednesday evening.
When a rare free evening came along, I decided to join the folks at Open Space. The people at my table were welcoming and the get-to-know-you conversation flowed effortlessly. I loved sharing the story of how my husband and I decided to really roll the dice while on vacation in Las Vegas and eloped. I then heard of a lovely young lady’s plans for her upcoming wedding.
Blip.
That’s exactly what I felt – I had a momentary blip. Somewhere, on some level that I didn’t know was in me, I made a judgement about a person with a developmental disability being engaged.
While the blip didn’t last long, the lingering sense of shame for needing that blip remains.
Why should I have any judgements about anybody getting married? Frankly, my track record isn’t great. The guy that I eloped with in Vegas is my second husband – the first one was a dud. And in between No. 1 and No. 2 were a host of dudes who were duds.
A second marriage that took place in the most unconventional of venues (Elvis was there, for heaven’s sake) is met with less judgement that a person with a disability getting married for the first time in the most traditional of settings.
Love, lust, romance, heart ache and the path those feelings take us down are a road we all have the right to travel. In cases like mine, that road might need to be traveled a few times until we get the right route. For others, like the young lady that I met on Wednesday, she seems to have her course already perfectly mapped out.
BAM!
Sally Sarachman
Opportunities Development Coordinator
- Filed under Blog